offering help to those who’ll listen

Understanding the bully

October 23rd, 2007

The bully is often known as the campus monster. He or she ruins everyone in school, even the teachers. Bullying is an abusive behavior by a single or a group of students against a student/s a.k.a. their victim/s. The process usually involves threatening, stalking, stealing, teasing, hitting and taunting. There are also other subtle kinds of bullying, which include spreading rumors, deliberate exclusion and malicious gossiping. Bullies always manage to isolate or reject the victims.

bullies

Bullying often reaches its peak during junior high school, then gradually declines later in high school years. Thus, only physical bullying decreases. However, verbal and other types of bullying still continue. Whether it is direct or indirect, the primary indication of bullying is characterized with psychological and physical intimidation. Hence, it usually occurs repeatedly, which can be similar to consistent harassment or abuse.

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Why teenagers drop out from school

October 23rd, 2007

Teenagers that drop out from high school usually confront bigger problems later in life. There are several reasons why teenage kids have left school. For instance, they need to help out their family cope up with financial issues. In some cases, their decisions are supported by their significant others.

Other reasons for youth drop out include:

* didn’t like the school environment.
* didn’t like the people in the campus or the teachers.
* had been suspended, expelled or subjected to disciplinary actions.
* poor grades or could not keep up with school work.
* didn’t feel safe being in school
* had alcohol or drug problem
* got married or got pregnant

Take note that dropouts mostly make up the households on welfare. They also make up almost half the prison population. It is best that parents should encourage their teenagers to graduate from high school.

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What is a teenage behavior problem?

October 23rd, 2007

Distinguishing normal teen rebellion from a teenage behavior problem is very hard for some parents. In short, they often could not tell which is which. They will only realize that their teenage kids are having a real behavior problem when things get extremely worst.

Teen behavior problem is also known as Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD). It is a pattern of defiant, disobedient and negative behavior. It is actually a conduct disorder, in which teenagers persistently and consistently rebel or violate rules and even the rights of others. They usually don’t care about the consequences of their improper actions.

ODD, by definition, include:

* always arguing or fighting with adults
* uncontrollable temper
* refusing and violating rules
* defying requests
* deliberately disturbing other people
* blaming others for one’s own misdemeanor
* easily angered, annoyed, resentful or vindictive

A teenager is said to have ODD when he or she has a persistent pattern of hostility and disobedience towards authorities like parents and other adults.

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Helping teenagers cope with stress

October 23rd, 2007

teen stress

Parents usually become helpless when they see their kids coping with stress. Most parents are clueless on how to handle the situation. In most cases, parental intervention can become very frustrating. Teenagers conceive it as invasion of privacy. They often reason out with “you don’t understand,” and most of the time become unreasonable. However, you just can’t leave your teenagers coping on their own. They might resort to alcohol or drug abuse.

Here are some tips on how to help your teenage cope with stress:

* Listen attentively and watch out for any signs of stress overload.
* Learn and practice stress management skills.
* Always monitor if stress has already affected your kids’ feelings, thoughts, health and behavior.
* Try to involve your teenagers in social activities such as sports.

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What cause teenage stress?

October 23rd, 2007

Most of the times parents fail to recognize that their teenagers are having stress. Just because they are kids, it doesn’t mean they don’t have personal issues. Teenage kids are just like adults. They are even more vulnerable when they become stressed out. They have lesser tolerance than grown ups. As parents, you should be able to identify the condition, or it might become a full-fledge depression or aggression.

There are various factors that lead to teenage stress:

* body changes, or wanting to have the ideal body
* peer problem or pressure
* demands and frustrations in school
* family issues like separation or divorce
* negative concept about themselves
* death in the family
* moving to a new neighborhood or school
* high expectations
* chronic illness
* financial problems of the family

When teenagers become overwhelmed with stress, they usually become carried away. In most cases, they will learn to develop their own coping mechanism. Some of these kids turn to alcohol or even drugs.

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Establishing teenage discipline

October 23rd, 2007

Traditionally, parents set the rules and consequences. Teenagers, on the other hand, apparently have to follow them. However, your kids most likely disobey you and end up being punished. The situation usually leads to sulking and even worst – rebellion.

You don’t really want your kids to develop bad behavior or attitude. Before any matter becomes worst, you have to design some “rule plan.” You can start by involving your youngsters in the process of setting the rules and punishment. In this way, they will be more conscious of following such rules. They will no longer say how unfair the rules are, or yet punishment are over the top.

Generally, parents assert their control over their children, especially in the matters of rules. You can make some changes by allowing your teenagers to gain control over their actions. However, you still have to be on the lookout. Make them identify the pros and cons of their actions. Let them be the one to submit to the consequences in case they will fail you. In turn, there will be no hard feelings.

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Parenthood and avoiding teenage troubles

October 23rd, 2007

When your kids start to cross that puberty line, you also need to change or upgrade your parenting skills. Number one rule: try to treat them as adults, because they always will use “stop treating me as a kid” line against you. Teenagers begin to believe that they are becoming adults, and they should be perceived as grown ups. Primarily, parent-teen relationship has three main considerations: psychological autonomy, connection and monitoring.

peer pressure

Psychological autonomy means you should learn to respect and honor your teenagers’ ideas or thoughts, even if you don’t agree with them. You should be able to encourage your kids to have independent thinking as well as expression. Validating their feelings, thoughts and beliefs is a way to hone psychological autonomy. In turn. They will have more confidence in themselves. If you think their ideas are not good, try to talk about it in a good way, and not in a rejecting manner.

It is really essential that you should learn to establish a certain connection towards your teenage kids. The connection should be positive and consistent. You must be able to show love, respect, confidence, stability and warmth. In this way, you can nurture your teenagers to grow with values. They will become positive individuals towards others. They will display more empathy and compassion to others. They will also have strong and stable self-confidence, particularly in their relationship with other people. The point is, your teenagers will develop good social skills through your connection.

Monitoring is also equally important. You should be able to know your kids’ activities. If you know what they are doing, they will more likely stay out of trouble. Also, know their peers and everyone they are going out with. Parental monitoring often avoid chances for bad influences and other negative peer pressure.

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Residential Treatment Centers for Teens

October 17th, 2007

When a teenager begins habitually abusing drugs and alcohol, then it might be necessary to seek help from a residential treatment center. Residential treatment centers give teens the opportunity to receive counseling on a 24-hour basis because they live in the counseling center. There are many residential treatment centers that help teens across the country and the world. Finding the one that is right for your teen is one of the steps that you can take to help ensure that he or she will be able to lead a long and healthy life free from alcohol and drug addiction.

At times it may be necessary for a teen to undergo treatment at a residential facility because his or her home life is not conducive to recovery. This might be because the other members of the household are themselves abusing drugs and alcohol, or it might be because other members of the household create an environment that causes extreme stress and anxiety to the teenager. While putting blame on another family member will not help the teen recover from drug and alcohol abuse, it may be necessary to remove the teen from the environment so that recovery can be begin to take place.

Residential treatment centers offer services that outpatient services cannot give teenagers who have drug and alcohol problems. The most obvious advantage that residential treatment centers offer is that care can be provided in a structured environment around the clock. Breaking the habit of abuse is the first step that many teens must take in recovery. By placing the teen in a place where drugs and alcohol are not available this makes breaking the cycle of abuse easier. Teens who are undergoing outpatient treatment can potentially abuse drugs when they are not being monitored. Because residential programs have strict rules, the teen will not have an opportunity to use.

While in a residential treatment program, teens will learn techniques that can help them modify their behavior so that they can handle stressful situations without resorting to drug and alcohol use. Many residential treatment centers work in conjunction with other treatment facilities to make sure that long-term care can be provided to the patient. It is important that the possibility of relapse be minimized after the patient has been discharged from the residential treatment center. Individual and group therapy can help ensure that relapse will not happen.

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Alternative Schools

October 8th, 2007

If you have a child with a learning or behavior disorder then regular public schools might not be the best way for the child to receive the education and counseling that is needed. Instead, you might want to explore alternative child schools that can give your child the tools that he or she will need to begin a life of happiness and success. There are schools in many areas that have programs that will meet your child’s needs.
St Catherine’s Military School in Anaheim, California offers male students with special needs the opportunity to get the educational and religious tools, and counseling that will help form a solid foundation for him.1 The school was founded by the Domincan Sisters of Mission San Jose in the late 1800s, and still maintains its tradition of turning boys into honorable young men who will be able to attend a college or university that will help prepare him for the challenges of life. It is a boarding school that will be able to give your child the supervision and direction that he needs.
St Catherine’s will not only give your boy a religious and educational background, but also has counseling available. The school understands that many young men face challenges in their lives that they don’t understand how to cope with. By counseling children with behavior and learning disorders, the school can arm the boys with the discipline that they need to participate in life without resorting to unhealthy behaviors like aggression and drug use.
The Devereux Grenholme School also focuses on students that have special needs. The school has a staff of counselors that understand how difficult a learning environment can be for children who Asperger’s, PDD, ADD, ADHD, bipolar disorder, depression, OCD, Tourettes Syndrome, and other learning disabilities. The school offers students individual therapy, in-vivo coaching, which helps students understand how the lessons learned in therapy can be applied to everyday life, group therapy, and family therapy.
Devereux Grenholme School has two programs that will help your child learn the coping skills that are necessary for them to make healthy decisions when faced with life’s problems. The Arts Program helps students learn how to express themselves in positive ways. The Equestrian Program helps students learn how to be responsible and gives them the opportunity to bond with a horse.
Finding the special child school that is right for your child can be a long process. Try to find a place that has experience teaching children with your child’s disorder. If you chose to place him or her at a boarding school, then make sure that it is a place that you are comfortable leaving your child at for prolonged periods of time.

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Adolescent Support

October 8th, 2007

Adolescents are at a critical stage in their lives when they may need large amounts of support but at the same time may be resistant to too much support from authority figures, which can include parents, teachers, and therapists. Regardless of how they might attempt to dissuade adults from participating in their lives, it is important that adolescents get the support that they need in order to develop into adults. This support can range from kind words when times are tough for the child to seeking therapy for adolescents who are excessively troubled.

Therapies Commonly Used with Adolescents:

Art therapy
Drama therapy
Music therapy
Play therapy

It is important for you to remember that in your relationship with an adolescent, regardless of whether it is your child or a child that you teach or have another relationship with, that you are the adult in the relationship.

While the adolescent might use aggression and even violence to dissuade you from participating in his or her life, it is important for you to keep your composure so that the situation can remain calm. You will find that sometimes adolescents can be very loving and that other times they might be very cold and seem to pull away from you. You should not take this personally. It is a phase that many children go through as they are growing into adults.

If you need to find therapy for your adolescent child, you need to find one that has experience working with children. You should also make sure that the therapist has experience dealing with your child’s specific problems. There are many types of therapy that you might want to consider. Drama therapy, art therapy, music therapy, and play therapy are all common forms of therapy that are used with adolescents. These types of therapies might be necessary because adolescents are often resistant to parental figures.

Often, therapists will be seen by adolescents as parental figures, and the children will try to shut them out. If a child is shutting the therapist out, obviously talk therapy will not be the best course of action.

Supporting children is important no matter what stage of life they are in. Get involved in their educational and extracurricular activities by helping them with their homework, attending their sporting events, and giving the moral support that they need to develop the self-esteem that they need to develop into happy, healthy adults. By being involved in your adolescent’s life, you’re helping to ensure that they will be able to support themselves in the future and to form loving relationships with other people.

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