So you’re in an abusive relationship. You’re dating this guy who seemed really nice at first, and then wham! All of a sudden, the sweet and charming guy who swept you off your feet turned out to be a real creep. First, he started getting irritable for trivial reasons, and then he starts to shout at you and seems to enjoy shaming you in public. The verbal assault is tolerable, albeit on the surface, but then you feel that he’s going overboard because he’s already starting to abuse you physically—twisting your arm, shoving you around, even slapping your face. Don’t worry. There is a way out.

Experts who study behavioral patterns of teens who are involved in teen dating violence says that more often than not, the abused party allows the cycle of violence to happen because she doesn’t know where to seek help. So, the thing is, the problem lies not on the unwillingness to put an end to teen dating violence but rather, on the ignorance on how to go about the situation.

Ideally, the first option should be the parents. But then, come on, reality check! Of course it would be terribly hard to confide to one’s parents about the incidences of abuse. Admit it, there’s a thin, invisible wall that separates the older generation from the younger generation. No matter how we try to create a bridge that would connect the two, somehow, teens would still find it hard to open up to their parents. They’d feel queasy and uneasy; chances are, they would leave the important parts out of the real story, if they would even have the courage to open up in the first place.

Anyhow, if you’re a teen who’s involved with an abusive dating partner, better take a good look at these numbers and start dialing:

Women’s Coalition of St. Croix 773-9272

Crisis Help Line 1-800-233-4357

National Youth Crisis Line 1-800-448-4663

Child Help USA, National  Hotline 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800 422-4453)

Covenant House 1-800-999-9999

Teens nowadays are so into relationships—as if being single is something that they cannot stand. Well, I guess nobody can blame them because the trend now is for teens to date at a young age, definitely younger than when their parents had been allowed to date. Maybe that’s why parents tend to set rules on dating for their teens—so the teens would have some sort of guidelines or limits when it comes to romantic involvement. But the question is, is this enough to shield the teens from teen dating violence?

Teen dating violence is a pattern of abuse in a dating relationship. It’s effect can be as mundane as a wounded ego on the part of the abused teen, or as severe as a psychological problem for both the abuser and the abused. In my opinion, teens need to know their dating partners on a more personal level before committing herself to that person, otherwise, the cycle of violence will continue.

We can blame lax parenting styles, we can blame girls for being too submissive, or the boys for being too aggressive, or the media for influencing patterns of teen dating violence through TV shows and movies and print ads,but the facts remain: teen dating violence remains and is as pervasive as ever. What do we do about it?

I don’t know how others would say about this, but I stand by the belief that if you are not helping to solve the problem, then you are part of the problem. So, maybe, just by knowing what our roles are and acting in behalf of that role would really make a difference. Like, for example, if you are a parent, do some baseline counseling to your teen, if you are a teen, know your limitations as well as your responsibilities.

Dating is a big step. No rush in hooking up just for the sake of saying that you’re in with the trend.  At the end of the day, deciding to be responsible will prove to be a wise decision.

An estimated ratio of about one in three high school students from ages 14 to 17 have been in abusive relationships. Hence, to say that teen dating violence is somewhat a prevailing phenomenon among the youth of today is not a far fetched idea. It usually starts though forms of emotional or verbal abuse. Petty acts of being shouted at, being cussed at, or hearing words that in any way demeans the other person in the dating relationship could be the onset of teen dating violence. If allowed to happen and thus starts to happen recurrently, this may immediately escalate into physical abuse or sexual violence.

A teen who is being abused by his dating partner should immediately counseled by her parents or by an authoritative figure, at the very least. It is necessary for parents of teens who are involved in the cycle of teen dating violence to ask pertinent questions about the relationship in an effort to keep the communication lines between the parent and the teen open. Although putting a stop to your teen’s relationship with her abuser is a good idea, it may not be effective, more so if your teen feels that there is no need to do so. Respecting your teen’s feelings is important. If you can, try setting limits so as to control the situation. Remember to resolve conflicts with your teen. Whether directly related to the matter at hand or not.