People who grieve over the loss of someone important in their lives are often told by their therapists to let out, or in a way, to vent out their sadness and longing through creative means.  Chanelling the negative energies of a person who grieves into something that can have an aesthetic or artistic value can help a person endure loneliness, more so if the pain is still fresh and new.

This advice also works well with teens.  It is of utmost importance for them to create something positive out of the negative pent-up emotions that they have.  Otherwise, the pain may become too overwhelming for them, to the point of taking its toll on their emotional health.

Here’s a poem on grief which I found on the internet.

GRIEF IS LIKE A RIVER
By Cinthia G. Kelley

My grief is like a river,
I have to let it flow,
but I myself determine
just where the banks will go.

Some days the current takes me
in waves of guilt and pain,
but there are always quiet pools
where I can rest again.

I crash on rocks of anger;
my faith seems faint indeed,
but there are other swimmers
who know that what I need

Are loving hands to hold me
when the waters are too swift,
and someone kind to listen
when I just seem to drift.

Grief’s river is a process
of relinquishing the past.
By swimming in hope’s channels,
I’ll reach the shore at last.

We often find it hard to cope with losing someone, or something that we hold dear. This is grief. Grief is basically an emotion that is brought about by the pain of loss. Some people try to put off the feelings brought about by loss, they try to ignore the pain. What we do not realize is that it is not healthy to ignore emotional pain. Failure to acknowledge loss is likely to result in disability. In contrast, grief that is expressed and dealt with has the potential of enriching our lives. Although we deal with grief differently, there are ways to make the end-result of grieving geared towards a more positive context.

The word grief is derived from the Old French word grève, which means “a heavy burden.” Come to think about it, this makes sense because when you grieve, you are also being weighed down by sorrow and loss and longing which inevitably leads to a low mood.

There are people who temporarily loses their ability to face the challenges of life when they grieve. The world simply stops revolving for these people’ as if their lives have ended as well.

As the saying goes, “life does not end when heartaches begin”. Hence, while it may be inevitable to experience grief, and inevitable not to be affected by grief, it is still necessary not to give in to the force that weighs you down to a bottomless pit, so speak, which is exactly what happens when people grieve over the loss of a person whom we love and appreciate.

Grief can never be measured. In the same way, the “time table” for grief cannot be limited. We can give ourselves a “deadline”, but chances are, these deadlines will not be met. There is no one way to move on, but these strategies may help us in surging forward. We may never be able to put the pain of losing someone we love behind us, and the pain may never entirely go away, but there are certain ways to cope.

Express your feelings in a tangible or creative way. Write about your loved one in a journal, or write the person a letter saying the things you never got to say. Create a scrapbook or artwork about the person; create an appropriate memorial in his or her honor (for example, if the person loved flowers, plant or fund a garden); get involved in a cause or organization that was important to him or her.

Take care of yourself physically. Get enough sleep, eat sensibly, and engage in regular exercise. Do not use alcohol or drugs to numb the pain of grief or lift your mood artificially. (That may even apply to antidepressants meant to ease the sadness of grief; because grief, unlike depression, is not a disorder, masking the pain with meds may be less productive than working through the sadness.) Healthy habits will help you with grieving, but substance use will impede recovery and can lead to long-term dependence

Don’t let other people tell you how to feel, and don’t tell yourself how to feel either. Your grief is your own, and no one else can tell you when it’s time to “move on” or “get over it.” At the same time, it’s okay to be angry at the person who died, to cry every day if you need to, to yell at the heavens without being embarrassed. Conversely, it’s okay to laugh, too. If watching the entire oeuvre of the Marx Brothers helps you heal, no one has the right to tell you it’s inappropriate.

Plan ahead. Anniversaries, holidays, and milestones in life can be particularly challenging. Be prepared for an emotional wallop, and know that it’s completely normal. If you’re sharing a holiday or lifecycle event with other relatives, talk to them ahead of time about their expectations and agree on strategies to honor the person you loved.